In the Shadow of Death

Our Beloved Pet

Are we ever prepared for the death of a loved one?

On Martin Luther King Day, we had to put down our beloved 13 yr. old cocker spaniel. Three days later, my 93 yr. old mother-in-law, Mary, passed away.

Losing a family member is devastating. Losing two loved ones in the same week is more painful.

Many of us who have a child with serious mental illness (MI) worry about an early death of that child because MI can lead a person to commit suicide.

Our son, Chris, often says, “I won’t kill myself. But if I die, I’ll be in a much better place.”
Each time he repeats those words, I wonder if God is preparing my heart to face the unthinkable: Chris’s life being cut short. How could I face such tragedy?

Christ’s disciples faced the death of their Lord. Such loss. Soon after, He arose from the grave and appeared to them. Such joy! But, then He left them again as He ascended.

Then the disciples did something unexpected. They worshiped Him, returned to Jerusalem with great joy, and praised God.

When our dog died, my first reaction wasn’t joy. When I saw Mary in the hospital after she suffered a massive stroke, my inclination wasn’t to worship and praise God. Sadness flooded my heart. Tears flowed.

How were Jesus’ followers able to praise God when their Master left them? Luke tells us the answer.

“While He was blessing them, He left them and was taken up into heaven. Then they worshiped Him and returned to Jerusalem with great joy. And they stayed continually at the temple, praising God.” Luke 24:51-53

They looked to God. They stayed in His presence.

Only there, can we find the same comfort. Remaining in His Word and continuing in prayer.

“You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You.” Isaiah 26:3
We can have victory over the enemy’s attempt to get us to abandon our faith.

The Bible tells us that we have a cloud of witness (Hebrews 12). Heroes of faith who have gone on before us are cheering us on. Can you hear them speaking to you? They’re telling you, “Trust God. Be patient. He is compassionate and merciful. Keep running your race. You can do it because God is faithful.”

Still, I wonder if I could maintain a trust in God if my son died young. I know the Holy Spirit would comfort me.

That same Comforter helped Job. A man who lost not just one child, but all his children…in addition to his livelihood. Yet, he still praised God.

“Then Job arose, tore his robe, and shaved his head; and he fell to the ground and worshiped. And he said: ‘Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return there. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.’” Job 1:20-21

Job wasn’t the only one who lost his business and all his children.
In 1873 Horatio Spafford, a wealthy Chicago lawyer, wrote the words to the favorite hymn “It is Well with My Soul.”

Job and Horatio Spafford were real people. We can have a blessed assurance that God will help us through such grief. We may not understand why God allows suffering. But by faith we too can say, “It is well with my soul.”

Listen to that hymn as you read Horatio Spafford’s remarkable story.

What do you see?

Dec5

“So Pharaoh asked them, ‘Can we find anyone like this man, one in whom is the spirit of God?’” (Genesis 41:38)

Does it irk you when someone advises, “Look for the silver lining”? Maybe you fight the urge to snap back, “That’s easy for you to say!”

My son, Chris, and I share the same dark cloud of disability. His mental illness (MI), mine multiple sclerosis (MS).

One day Chris asked me, “Do you feel like you’re in prison because of your illness?”

I replied, “I’m sure anyone could feel like they’re imprisoned by their disability. Chronic illness often steals freedom. It robs people of what they love doing. But, I don’t feel like I’m in prison. My MS isn’t in control of my life. God is.”

How could I manage to offer such a response? I surely didn’t follow the advice from a popular song. “Grey skies are gonna clear up, put on a happy face.”

Who wants to live life waiting for grey skies to clear up? What if they don’t? Does that mean God’s forgotten us? No!

Who wants to simply put on a happy face? Wouldn’t we rather feel true joy that radiates on our face?

Am I happy about my MS? Absolutely not! But, my physical challenges have caused me to understand the fruit of the Holy Spirit. God’s power enables me to have His joy while enduring longsuffering. It’s a power others have called upon in far worse trials. People like Corrie ten Boom.

How could Corrie ten Boom speak of God’s love when surrounded by the horrors of a Nazi concentration camp? The same way Paul and Silas could sing while in prison (Acts 16:25). God’s power inside them, the Holy Spirit, filled them with supernatural joy and peace. That’s the kind of joy and peace I want!

Jonah shows us that an affliction can change a person’s perspective. (Jonah 2:2) After spending three days and nights in the belly of the fish, Jonah lifted his voice to God with a “voice of thanksgiving.” (Jonah 1:17 to Jonah 2:9)

Job shows us that even if all is lost, we can still praise God. After losing everything, Job said, “I know that my Redeemer lives.” (Job 19:25)

Joseph faced betrayal from his brothers (Genesis 37: 23-28) and from his master’s wife (Genesis 39:10, 17-20). But Joseph didn’t become bitter. God prospered whatever he did. Pharaoh even knew the secret to Joseph: the Spirit of God lived in him.

Clouds can serve as reminders to us. When we look into the sky, we have a choice. Will we look at the grey cloud or the silver lining? Do we focus on the darkness around us or the Light shining inside us?

The clouds can remind us of the ‘great cloud of witness’ – the heroes of faith listed in Hebrews. (Hebrews 12:1) Those fellow believers are cheering us on. Telling us we can have joy in spite of our struggles.

Back on Track

Nov8

“I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.” 2 Timothy 4:7

It’s not even Thanksgiving and signs of Christmas are everywhere: in the stores and on TV commercials. The Hallmark channel has already begun their Christmas movies marathon. Ugh!

One Christmas movie featured a toy train set. I got to thinking. What do people love so much about toy trains? Is it the hypnotic, slow pace? Is it the power to control the pace? Is it the Christmas tree lights shining down on the train?

I’m sure the memories are what we love best. Reminders of a safer time in our lives. When life seemed simple and magical.

Most people have perfected the skill of getting a toy train back on track. You gently slide the train back and forth along the track until the wheels click back in place.

Wouldn’t it be nice to solve life’s derailments so simply?

Ever get on the wrong train? Scenes outside the window fill your stomach with a sick feeling. Being on the wrong track is never a good feeling.

Oh no. I’m on the wrong train. I’m headed in the wrong direction. This is so embarrassing. Where will this lead me? How soon can I get off?

Relief comes only when you’re safely on the correct train. Restoration to damaged pride comes later!

God’s people seemed to get off track when they wandered in the wilderness. God constantly got them back on track. They grumbled. God provided. They complained. God forgave and provided. They whined. God remained long suffering.

When things get off track in life, it’s not so simple to restore smooth traveling. We may not know where we’re headed. Thankfully, our Father is the master conductor of our lives.

Parenting a child with mental illness (MI) tends to get us derailed. Like the Israelites, we tend to worry. Yet, God provides. We fear. God protects. We lose hope. God restores our faith in Him. Gently sliding us back on track. As we focus on familiar scenes of His faithfulness.

We’re not simply on a track leading through the tunnel of MI. We’re fighting the good fight. A battle for the spiritual well-being of our child and our family. We face spiritual warfare right in our homes.

Yet, tribulation will not separate us from the love of Christ. Romans 8:35-39 assures us that nothing can separate us from the love of God. We are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.

When I see evidence of the enemy’s attempts to taunt or torture my son, I get angry. I quote Romans 8:35-39.

How are you fighting to keep the faith and to restore His peace?

Is mental illness contagious?

Oct23

Ever worry that you’re losing your mind? When mental illness hits home, so do unusual or unnerving behaviors. Your child may do things that seem completely out of character. You’re taken off guard. It makes no sense. Life becomes unpredictable.

It’s like walking on a tightrope that periodically gets shaken. Without any notice, turbulence begins. Your feet hold on for dear life. The only thing keeping you from falling into the abyss is one thin cord.

Only, the cord is your own mental capacities to think clearly. In order to prepare for another shocking event or action, you cling tightly.

The only rational response is to expect turmoil. Unprovoked anger, bazaar behaviors, and strange comments are the norm. Nothing surprises you anymore. To prepare for the next wave of emotion, your alert button is kept on high.

But, the grip on your sanity starts to slip. That rope is about to snap. You wonder if mental illness is somehow contagious.

Have I come to an acceptance of mental illness? Or am I losing my mind? I can’t hold on much longer.

Before you become unwound, hold onto the hope of God’s peace.

I know firsthand that you can have peace in the midst of piercing sorrow. When our son had to be hospitalized, sadness stabbed my heart. Yet, God’s perfect peace kept me from unraveling. I experienced calmness in the midst of crisis. You can too.

How?

Music soothes the soul.

David’s music eased a king’s troubled soul. Fill your home with worship music. Songs that remind you of His faithfulness and love.

Reflect on one verse each day. Feed on promises like:

You can have perfect peace. (Isaiah 26:3)

You can lie down in peace and sleep in safety. (Psalm 4:8)

You can have peace in spite of trouble because He has overcome the world. (John 16:33)

You can have peace at all times and in every way. (2 Thessalonians 3:16)

You can live in peace because the God of peace is with us. (2 Corinthians 13:11)

You don’t have to be troubled or afraid. (John 14:27)

Your mind and heart will be guarded. (Philippians 4:7)

God is your peace. (Ephesians 2:14)