Picture me standing at center field wearing a blindfold and ear plugs, wondering if any fans are in the football stadium. That’s how I feel as I write this message. Is anyone there to join me in the battle? Is anyone listening? For over two years I’ve been posting messages on this blog, never skipping a week.
Why should I continue? What keeps me going? Having a son with mental illness (MI) can be challenging. At times it’s wearing on my emotions. It’s a daily battle to keep my focus on Him, rather than on the trials in my life. So why bother? What’s my motivation?
If there’s just one who needs renewed hope in the Lord, I’ll share encouraging verses.
If there’s just one who needs to know that someone understands their journey and isolation, pain and shame, I’ll reach out.
If there’s just one who needs to know that God can be found during the darkest times, I’ll tell of His faithfulness to us when our son needed treatment and hospitalization.
If there’s just one who wants to know what it’s like to raise a child with MI, I’ll share my story.
I’m also driven to continue for a personal reason. Writing weekly messages helps frame my thinking. This labor of love forces me to maintain an eternal perspective. There’s something about reflecting on what God’s doing in my life. I pray, God reveals. I write, God seals the lesson.
But I’m like anyone else. I get worn out and tired of the struggle. MI isn’t contagious but it can threaten a mom’s sanity and disrupt her peaceful emotions. So I cling to Philippians 4:7 and trust that, “the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
I find refreshment for my soul in songs like ‘Protector of My Soul.’
“O protector of my soul
You will stand against the foe
In the dark You’ll be a light for me
O Protector of my soul.”